My Why: What Parents’ Place Means to Me

Have you ever had something happen at the perfect moment and suddenly realized how much you needed it? That is what becoming part of Parents’ Place was like for me when I joined three years ago.

Being a mom (or dad or guardian) is tough! It doesn’t feel good to admit that something so special — the most important job you’ll ever have — is hard, but the reality is that raising children is often mentally and physically exhausting. Even the journey to become parents can be difficult or draining.

My husband and I chose to be foster parents; fostering then adopting our three children. I knew foster care and adoption came with a unique set of challenges, but no training could have prepared us for the reality of raising children who experienced trauma or the primary and secondary trauma that the rest of the family would endure as a result of their trauma responses. Not only was the experience itself tougher than we expected, but the gaslighting, judgement, and lack of understanding or willingness to be trauma-informed in the interactions from some of our support system took an emotional toll on me — a toll that still lingers to this day.

Just before the school year was set to begin in 2023, with two of my three children in public school, I decided to enroll my youngest at Parents’ Place. What I thought was going to be just a chance for her to experience a classroom setting and socialize with others her age ahead of Kindergarten turned into so much more!

When you walk into Parents’ Place for the first time as a new member, you may be nervous. It can be scary to meet new people and try new things! I assure you, though, if you give it time and trust the process, you’ll see what a special place it is for both you and your child.

On our first day, I was not nervous for myself. I am more than comfortable talking to strangers and jumping in to help, which is something Parents’ Place needs its members to do. However, I was worried that my daughter might be seen as “too much.” She had (has) strong trauma responses — fight or flight. We would later receive ADHD and autism diagnoses, but even now with that insight and additional education on trauma and neurodivergence, the early years of gaslighting and judgement from others did enough damage that I lived (live) in constant fear that our presence anywhere would be “too much.”

My fears were for nothing, though, at least at Parents’ Place. Truly. I was met with supportive moms with kind hearts, listening ears, and a willingness to understand. I am lucky enough to still call these ladies my friends today, three years later after meeting them at Parents’ Place.

At the time, I didn’t realize that I needed something different. I thought that because I had people in my life, I had a village. That couldn’t be more wrong. I needed more of the kind of people that could help pull me out of the mud when parenting felt hardest; not people who would make the mud thicker. Finding more friends through Parents’ Place who would include my daughter and I… who would help me to find a way back to myself… who would sometimes just listen instead of trying to fix things… who understand some of my struggles in parenting like raising a neurodivergent child or who have experience with children of trauma… I needed more of that! Parents’ Place helped me to build a stronger village.

Parents’ Place made such a strong impact on our lives that I didn’t want to leave it, and I’m thankful that I didn’t entirely have to. I taught the Kindergarten Readiness Room the past two years and have also served as the Administrator. Although I will not be returning to the classroom to teach this coming school year because my priorities have shifted to homeschooling my youngest, I am still the Admin of Parents’ Place.

Being the Admin has allowed me to continue to pay things forward at Parents’ Place by being a villager for others. I learned from the example of those I met in my first year: To have a village, you have to be willing to be a villager. This is what Parents’ Place was built on.

If I could offer any advice to new or prospective families, it would be to enter Parents’ Place with the kind of openness that I shared about in my story. Allow Parents’ Place to be as much for you as it is for your child. Be the kind of person in the Parent Room to others that you would want for yourself. Socialize — put yourself out there! Ask how someone is then listen to the full, possibly messy, story. Make time outside of Parents’ Place for daily life together. Get coffees and meet at the park, or co-parent in each other’s backyards. Identify a need and reach out. Community is built over time through consistency and care, in day-to-day moments. That consistency turns acquaintances into more.

If you’re interested in building your village or finding out your own “why,” visit our Enrollment page.